Almost Famous, Misquotable Misquotes, Kaveri wars and a PJ

I) Evergreen soundtracks by Stillwater, Jethro Tull, Lynrd Skynrd, Led Zeppelin from the soundtrack of “Almost Famous” took me back in time; about a couple of years back, when I first saw the movie at Delhi on a cold winter night; wrapped up in my quilt, with all the lights off and the volume just at the right level. I still remember the moment I fell in love with the angelic Kate Hudson. How I wished I was a rock-star, with her as my muse/arm-candy/love all combined into one. How I wished….. until today I was rummaging through the folders of my laptop and came up with a poster of the movie which had the catch phrase – “ALMOST FAMOUS…. Experience it, Enjoy it, Just don’t fall for it.” Sorry Cameron Crowe, your movie and your heroine are just too good not to fall for both!!

II) Sharath Rao writes about Mumbai Mirror (mis)quoting his article on a Manglik Aishwarya Rai. I have this to say to him: ‘Sharath, atleast you have only been quoted. I have had the misfortune of giving a 10 second soundbyte to this Cousin-of-the-‘TOI’let paper near VT. I was asked about my views on our esteemed Censor Board’s decision to have night viewing slots for adult content and I blabbered some crap. Don’t worry pal, you are higher up than me on this totem pole of “Those whose life is influenced by TOI and its concerns.” ‘ BTW, what happened to the TOI sucks community on Orkut?

III) Received this SMS going around after the Kaveri Disputes Tribunal awarded a just/biased (depending on your point of view) judgment on the sharing of the river waters:

“Sakkare Kelidare Payasa Kodthivi
Neeru Kelidare Panaka Kodthivi
Aadre Kaveri kelidre thikka hodithivi”
Jai Karnataka, Jai Kannada”

Translation: Ask for sugar and you will be given a sweet dish, ask for water and we’ll give you nectar (rough translation); but ask for Kaveri and we’ll sodomise you!!!

My only doubt is: Isn’t Kaveri also water (aka neeru?). So, by the logic of the second line, shouldn’t you share it like nectar?

On a serious note, it is high time the tribunal functions like an Electricity Regulator and shares with the general public all documentation related to issues that come to it for decision making. Makes life simple, uncomplicated and a little strenuous considering the number of petitions. But let me tell you, it is worth all the extra effort.

Basic questions that have to be answered:

What is the extent of land that has to be irrigated in both states?
What are the crop cultivation patterns in both these states?
What are the storage capacities of their respective reservoirs?
What is the working methodology adopted by the tribunal?
Who has validated the formulae, assumptions etc of the tribunal?

Publish the answers to these and see how trouble makers like Vatal Nagraj who flourish on creating a fear psychosis in ignorant minds; scurry off without a whimper. It will also put and end to that smirk on Karunanidhi's face as he speaks about "Justice being done."

As someone who has roots in Karnataka, Tamil nadu and Kerala, I find myself in embarrassing situations when i have people baying for my loyalty to a particular state/language. Hard data can enable me to drill in some non-partisan sense into people. So, commissionji, please put out data in simple understandable form!!

IV) In the song ‘Eh Aithathe Ashiqui’ from Guru, imagine this

Aish: “...Kyun Urdu Farsi bolte ho....”
AB Jr : “Mujhe uske alawa aur kuch nahin aata”